So, I was at a club for my bachelor party. I had just taken a spill on the dance floor, burning a hole in the knees trying to do a knee slide down a handicap ramp.
In the meantime, a couple had snuck onto the dance floor while I wasn’t looking. I didn’t realize it as I hopped up and started dancing, again. Part way through some money Hammer dancing across the dance floor, I managed to ram into the couple. It was a cross between slam dancing and clumsy drunk (more of the latter, really).
The dude was not interested in slam dancing, nor impressed with my moves. My friends quickly jumped in to apologize for me, buying them both a drink while I finished my routine. As we left the dance club, we said goodbye to the couple and the friendly staff, and then went on the search for pizza.
Fist fight avoided…check
It really stands out in my memory how much I wanted pizza. By this time, it was late, and not much was open. After some wandering, we found a pizza place and ordered a large pepperoni pizza.
I sat (laid) at one of the small tables to wait. Some amount of time later (maybe 20 minutes or so), our pizza was ready.
My friends were kind enough to wake me up. I dragged myself from the table and grabbed a slice of pizza. It was so good.
Pizza box in my hand, we started walking toward the hotel.
Ridiculous and more ridiculous
Along the way, there was a homeless guy asking for money. One of my buddies told him he’d give him some money if he did some pushups. I just stood back, eating pizza, and watching a crowd of guys counting off pushups.
After paying the guy for his hard work, we kept walking and paying every homeless dude along the way to do pushups. That got old after a couple of blocks, so we hopped into a taxi to expedite the trip to the hotel.
There were no cars on the street. I remember feeling like we were in a racing game, flying through the streets, and ignoring the red lights. I have to assume the guy didn’t want us puking in his car or something.
We arrived at the Best Western in downtown Vancouver, which we had booked one of the penthouse rooms at top of the building. One room, countless dudes, oh dear. People started throwing stuff out the windows and generally making trouble.
At this point, I had hit a wall and needed to sleep (pass out). I laid down in the middle of the floor, on my stomach, and crashed. It’s strange, but I recall waking up, lifting my head up, and throwing up a few inches from my face, and going back to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up in the bed. My friends had dragged me up there when they spotted the soiled carpet.
I got up to use the restroom, but couldn’t get to the toilet. People were sleeping everywhere, including the bathroom floor and tub. There were guys passed out in the beds, on the couches, on chairs, on the floor…everywhere.
To be continued…